Tainted Milk #4

June 8, 2009

A short excerpt from Chapter 12.

The Barrister wiped the sweat from his soggy brow and stepped away from the Taoiseach.
“I’m sorry, I just need to take a drink.” Garrison eyed the Taoiseach steelely, trying to read his thoughts. If there was one subject that Garrison was an expert on, having experienced fifteen years working as an investigative journalist specialising in the Dairy Industry, it was bastards. The Taoiseach’s gaze was fixed on the Barrister. The Premier’s face pointed downwards and he watched the sweaty man from under his converging brow. The most devious of devious smiles cracked across his face. The elderly professional raised a cool condensation speckled glass to his mouth and allowed the refreshing milk gush down his arid throat. Suddenly it dawned on Garrison.
“Noooooooo!” and he leapt athletically across the table and towards him. As Garrison tackled the Barrister, pinning him majestically, he sent the glass flying towards the jury. But he already knew he was too late. The Barrister clutched at his throat and his eyes silently cried out a thousand words of pain to Garrison. But he was helpless to… help him now. The Barrister went limp in Garrison’s soft strong arms and the courtroom went quiet.

Garrison rose and turned towards the dock.
“Acid milk? You son of a bitch!” but the Taoiseach just grinned back.
“Prove it was me John Garrison. I dare you” and he cackled a demonic chorus.
“Order! Order!” thumped the Judge with his funny little wooden hammer. “I have no option but to adjourn this court case.”
“I don’t think so Judge” said Garrison, pulling the cape and wig from the Barrister’s corpse. “I’m going to represent myself!”
The courtroom gasped and the Taoiseach turned white.

“I call to the stand, my one and only witness… this cow!” The courtroom’s double doors swung open and there stood a black and white friesian cow. She strolled through the courtroom and towards the bench. She eyed the people she passed as she trotted on with disappointed accusing eyes that seemed to say ‘I’m going to put the whole damn system on trial.’

The Taoiseach’s Barrister rose and shouted “Objection, your Honour, this is highly irregular; a cow can’t be a witness” but as the Judge peered down at the infant boy sitting on his mother’s lap in the front row who was lifting a bottle of milk to his two year old lips, he banged his little wooden hammer once more and boomed; “Denied! I’ll allow the cow’s testimony!”

Garrison smiled and stared at the Taoiseach. ‘I’ve got you now, you evil, evil dick.’

…Not Also, But Only.


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