John Garrison Assemble – An Origin Story

October 8, 2013

‘You insert this end into the target’s mouth. Turn this knob here – not once, not twice, but three times. Make sure this dial here is reading twelve hundred and three. Please be precise with this. The smallest deviation would be catastrophic. You then press this button here – not this button – this button. You should stand back once this button is pressed. At this point, the target’s calf muscles will each inflate to the size of an ordinary household microwave oven. They should also weigh about the same too, give or take. The target will find it virtually impossible to run or even walk briskly. This should give you ample time to shoot him in the face. Now, I know this may seem needlessly complicated, but you see… Sorry, am I boring you, Commander Garrison?’
‘Are you even listening?’

Garrison was miles away. No one knew it, but today was the anniversary of something very meaningful. The day he lost some people very dear. The day he became John Garrison.

‘Thanks for taking me to see Cats,’ said a delighted nine-year old John Garrison, as they walked out of the theatre and into the late night air.

‘You’re very welcome, son,’ smiled his Dad, Jonathon.
‘Come on, boys. I know a shortcut,’ chirped his other Dad, Philip. Tragically, it was to be the last scary alleyway they would ever walk down as a family.
‘Excuse me, sirs. Just come from the show?’ A menacing figure emerged from the shadows. ‘Would you like to buy a cat? Souvenir of your night?’ he sneered, holding aloft a writhing sack of cats.
‘Em, no thank you,’ stuttered Philip nervously.
‘I wasn’t askin’,’ growled the stranger.
‘But, you did ask,’ Jonathan pointed out. Philip raised his eyes to heaven and shook his head.
‘You couldn’t have just let it go? No?’
‘But he did ask. He asked if we wanted a cat. And when we said no, he said he wasn’t asking.’

Philip always told Jonathan that his pedantry would be the death of him. Little did he know just how right he would be. The menacing stranger grinned a milky yellow smile as he produced a pistol.
‘Oh, God! No!’ pleaded Philip.
‘This isn’t cos you’re a gay couple, by the way. Just so you know. This is entirely indiscriminate.’ He pulled the trigger twice and John’s two Dads slumped to the gutter. The stranger sarcastically doffed his hat to the little boy and disappeared into the shadows, leaving Garrison sobbing over the corpses, who were now completely dead.

Garrison stood up. His eyes narrowed and he dried his tears. Crying wasn’t going to do him any good now. In that moment he resolved to dedicate his life to fighting crime and keeping scum like the menacing, milky-toothed stranger off the streets. He knew in that moment, that this incident would change him forever. Plus he also got bitten by one of the cats, which turned out to be radioactive, so… there was that too.


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